Colton Goodrich, the conceited writer and geologist

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The Fantastical and Undeniably Indisputable Escapades of Sir Arthur Fauntleroy Bartleby III, Esquire, and his Loyal Manservant Digby – Part 34: The Plot Thickens

Much hi-jinx and PERMISSIBLE SHENANIGANS have pursued our intrepid explorers as they seek the rumored TREASURE OF THE ROMAN IMPERATOR. We return to discover them amid the wild streets of the UNRULY CITY OF CHARLOTTE, North Carolina.

Sir Arthur strode through the intersection without hesitation. Time was running short.

“The secret lies with Charlotte,” Digby said from next to him. “Right smart you were to look in a city named Charlotte. I thought it were a woman, myself. That’s pretty clever, boss.”

“Of course I am, good Digby,” Arthur said. “Now, keep your eyes peeled for anything peculiar. The next clue to the Imperator’s Fortune lays somewhere amid these boulevards.”

They passed another alley crossroad and entered into the shadows of the next row of buildings. The great fortifications towered above them, blotting out the sun, leaving them to scuttle among the rubbish-filled depths like a brace of cockroaches.

“Sure is a lot of webs here, boss,” Digby said, looking amid the debris.

“Yes, there–Wait. What did you say?” Arthur asked, grabbing tightly onto the lapels of Digby’s filthy jacket.

“I… said there was a lot of webs here. Why, boss?”

Ingenious. Digby laughed aloud. “Of course! Don’t you see? It’s so simple! Webs in Charlotte! Charlotte’s Web! The tome written by E.B. White!”

“What’s it about? I’ve never read much, boss.”

“Never panic, Digby! In my many escapades, I stumbled across a reproduction. The book extensively details the misfortunes of a swine named Wilbur.”

“Wilbur? Wasn’t he one of the Wright brothers?” Digby asked.

“On the button, Digby! Orville and Wilbur Wright! And they flew their aeroplane at Kittyhawk! Don’t you see?”

“Kittyhawk, boss? You mean a cat and a bird?”

“Of course! A cat and a bird! Now tell me, Digby, what entity concerning cats and birds was momentous to Imperial Rome?”

Digby was silent a moment. “Uh… the Vatican?”

“The Sphinx! The emblem of their most despised adversary, Egypt! A fusion of bird and cat!”

Digby pondered a moment, the rusty gears of his mind twisting together. “There’s a bird on the Sphinx? Thought it were just a cat. And a man.”

Arthur chuckled. Meager, irrational Digby. So ignorant. “Not a flying bird. Bird as in an attractive woman. And, as you know, the Sphinx is modeled on the visage of the legendary Cleopatra! Our next step lies before the antediluvian monument of the Sphinx! Away, Digby, there’s no time to lose! Back to the aeroplane and then… Egypt awaits!”

Tune in next week as our audacious protagonists infiltrate the darkest reaches of Egypt and dare to step where LOADS OF OTHER MORTALS have stepped before. Will they uncover the TREASURE OF THE ROMAN IMPERATOR? Will the OUTLANDISH HOBO wielding a GOLDEN ABACUS persist in bothering our champions? Find out next week on:

The Fantastical and Undeniably Indisputable Escapades of Sir Arthur Fauntleroy Bartleby III, Esquire, and his Loyal Manservant, Digby – Part 35: Drowning in Denial

Updates

Updates, you know, those things I never do cause I’m a lazy git?

Gonna be gone all of next week for masters research. Gotta raft down the San Juan river with my adviser to reach the appropriate destination.

Gonna do NaNoWriMo, even though I technically already did it earlier this year when I pumped out about 80k words during July alone. Oh well, I can get it officially down, even though I’ll be working with a week handicap.

Starting to plot my next Writers of the Future entry. I’ve been meaning to get started on this earlier, but I’m too lazy of a git to get around to it. Sigh….

I’ll add in some worldbuilding later maybe.

Chainsaw Writing

Not writing with chainsaws. But I think this is a fun way to describe it. Which sounds more interesting? Discovery writing? Or CHAINSAW WRITING?

http://www.peteranthonybooks.com/2011/09/the-chainsaw-method-of-writing-a-novel/

On the Prevalence of Fantasy

An interesting read discussing why it is people like fantasy novels.
http://www.roguebladesentertainment.com/2011/09/on-the-enduring-popularity-of-sword-sorcery-fiction/

Flagging SF – MICE

What’s that? Really, already? Alright. Ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls, and face-hugging alien monsters, it’s time again. That’s right; time to return to another maniacal self-absorbed essay about why I think I’m right.

Last time I speculated on root causes behind the flagging SF genre. This time I intend on offering my obviously correct opinions on enticing new readers. Said opinions are probably wrong, but this is the internet. The only person who can stop me is Censorship Man.

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Amazing New Study

You probably saw this on the Colbert Report. The study suggests people enjoy stories more when they know how it ends.

AMAZING LINK HERE
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/spoiler-alert-stories-ruined-surprise-ending-revealed-california/story?id=14282659

So how ’bout it, Brandon Sanderson? Tell us how Wheel of Time ends. I’ll apparently enjoy it more.

Big Bad Fantasy Test

For authors specifically. If you say yes to any of the questions, you will be involved in a horrible accident where many people are hurt.

http://rinkworks.com/fnovel/

Business Card!

This actually didn’t take too long to make. I followed a couple guides, looked at some recommendations, downloaded some brushes, and whipped this up on photoshop in an hour. Keep in mind, the actual card will cut 1/4 of an inch off all four sides.

I wanted to keep it basic and to the point. I’ve heard putting stuff like “author” or “writer” on the card is considered presumptive if you haven’t sold anything. For that reason, I also figured I’d keep the back blank, so I could write notes. Thoughts?

Why is SF Flagging? Part 2: Colton Blathers on Some More

On the Downhill

Last post, I blathered on about how the fantasy genre reinvented itself following a Tolkien burnout. Now I’ll talk about my personal opinion for why the numbers of sci-fi readers are dropping down.

Warning: There are exceptions to every rule. Keep that in mind.

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Why is SF Flagging?

Warning: This is all speculation on my part. I’m known to be wrong on many things.

The Fantasy Conundrum

As I was attending WorldCon, I spent some time at different sci-fi panels. One of the dominant topics that always seemed to come to the front of discussion was the question: How can I dispense science fiction to the now uninterested masses? Okay, maybe that wasn’t the exact question.

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